


so i'll go

by JakeyFryMason011



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Love for Someone Else, Marshmello and Bastille, Sad, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 07:16:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16058189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JakeyFryMason011/pseuds/JakeyFryMason011
Summary: I want to raise your spiritsI want to see you smile, butKnow that means I'll have to leaveDustin and Max are together, finally, but Max wants someone else. And Dustin knows it.





	so i'll go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brenna_the_rose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brenna_the_rose/gifts), [FangirlingStrangerThings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangirlingStrangerThings/gifts).



> Here's that Max/Lucas songfic. This should not have taken me so long.  
> This sort of story will play off my first one, You Won. Just think I ought to warn you.

They had stopped kissing a long time ago.

_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_

And holding hands, hugging--all forms of affection. Now, they only acted like friends, distant friends.

_I want you to be happier_

_I want you to be happier  
_

They had gotten together in ninth grade. The kiss between Lucas and Max hadn't gone far, and Dustin staked his claim happily. Lucas slapped him on the back and said "Well done, man." Lucas was a great guy, Dustin thought.

Max seemed to think so to.

_When the morning comes, and we see what we've become_

Now, Dustin and Max only acted like lovers in bed, and after that it was up, out, dressed, and back to normal.

_In the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind, not the fire that we've begun_

Kissing and cuddling was replaced by shouting and rage, even at school. Everything was an argument. It could be if Dustin ate too loudly, or if Max stared at him for too long, or if he talked too much with the guys and ignored her. Anything at all.

_Every argument, every word we can't take back._

Once, Max had showed up at El's house in tears after a bad argument. Will had found Dustin roaming the streets that same night, kicking a discarded soda can down the street.

 _Cause_ with _all that has happened I think we both know the way that this story ends_

They fed each other cold forgiveness and brutal indifference to everything. And then the cold forgiveness would heat and boil to anger, and the indifference would sharpen to merciless, vengeful crying.

Dustin saw her looks at Lucas, and the way Lucas smiled back. She would be better off with Lucas, he thought, and he steeled himself to break up with her.

_Then only for a minute_

_I want to change my mind_

_Cause this just don't feel right to me_

Every time he failed.

But it was the right thing to do.

_I want to raise your spirits_

_I want to see you smile but_

_Know that means I'll have to leave_

Wasn't it?

 _Know that means I'll have to leave_ _  
_

_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_

_I want you to be happier_

_I want you to be happier_

Dustin hated the idea. He hated having to see her with Lucas and see what they could have been like. He couldn't just avoid them, after all.

 _When the evening falls a_ _nd I'm left there with my thoughts_

It would kill him if he didn't kill himself. Why did life have to come down to decisions like this?

_And the image of you being with someone else--well, it's eating me up inside_

Why couldn't everyone be happy? Why did one of them have to sacrifice their happiness for another person?

Why was everything so unfair?

_But we ran our course, we pretend that we're okay._

Maybe...they just weren't compatible for each other?

First love wasn't real love, he had heard, but Mike and Eleven seemed so happy together that he had hoped it wasn't true.

Maybe it wasn't true...for some people.

Clearly, he and Max fit outside the "some people" range.

_Now if we jump together at least can swim far away from the wreck we've made_

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

It was decided then.

_Then only for a minute_

_I want to change my mind_

_Cause this just don't feel right to me_

"It can't be the only way," Dustin said aloud to the darkness.

It was. Try as he might, his brain simply couldn't draw a new conclusion.

_I want to raise your spirits_

_I want to see you smile, but_

_Know that means I'll have to leave_

Could it wait? He hadn't thought of that. Maybe it was only a rough patch. Maybe they would get out of it soon.

 _Know that means I'll have to leave_ _  
_

_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_

_I want you to be happier_

_I want you to be happier_

No, he knew. He'd have to go if he wanted her to be happier.

_So I'll go_

_I'll go_

_I will go, go, go_

_So I'll go_

_I'll go_

_I will go, go, go_

His eyes stung with familiar brine, and he forced it down, wiping his eyes ferociously.

_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_

_I want you to be happier_

_I want you to be happier_

Her joy meant the world to him. He wanted her to be happy, even if it meant he wasn't happy himself.

His happiness didn't matter. It never did. It never would, until he could pull himself away forever and focus upon something else.

_Even though I might not like this_

_I think that you'll be happier_

_I want you to be happier_

He hated his decision.

He hated the world, at that moment. He hated Max, he even hated Lucas, who wasn't even at fault here.

_Then only for a minute_

_I want to change my mind_

_Cause this just don't feel right to me_

He stood up, stopping at the doorway. Last chance, he knew, last chance to change your mind. Last chance to stay with Max.

He went out the door.

_I want to raise your spirits_

_I want to see you smile, but_

_Know that means I'll have to leave_

He didn't even register the bike ride there.

He knocked, and Billy opened up. "What do you want?" he growled.

"Real nice. I need to see Max."

"In her room," Billy muttered, stalking off.

 _Know that means I'll have to leave_ _  
_

_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_

_I want you to be happier_

_I want you to be happier_

"Max?" Dustin said, and the girl looked up. "Oh, hey," she said candidly. "What's up?"

_So I'll go_

_I'll go_

_I will go, go, go_

_So I'll go_

_I'll go_

_I will go, go, go_

Dustin shifted his feet and looked down. "We...we, uh, probably need to talk."


End file.
